By now, I have already described the essential processes of the spiritual path. It is not always easy to digest what the journey toward God demands of us.
After the hard work in the fields during spring, the fruits slowly ripen over the course of the summer. Eventually, the harvest season arrives. In the same way, if we have created the necessary conditions and patiently endured the phases of growth, we too may receive God's grace.
Everything begins with a search and a question
At this point, I would like to emphasize once again that the path to God begins with a search or a question. If we do not reach out, yearn, ask, and seek God, we cannot expect to find Him.
The sincere search will lead us to Him.
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
A psychological consultation or therapy always begins with a request. Without a clear request, the therapist is not permitted to act. The initiative must come from the client. Clarifying the request is the first and most important step - it largely determines the success of the therapy.
If it becomes clear during the process that the original request is vague or confused, the clarification must be repeated. This is a basic principle taught in therapeutic training.
In the same way, to receive God's guidance and grace, we must first take the initiative - we must ask and seek.
This is where the journey begins.
My personal search
God has undeservedly granted me many wonderful experiences - certainly not because I am a particularly holy or faithful person.
The only thing that may have helped was my sincere search to find the inner path.
It was sometimes less a conscious virtue and more a search out of desperation - through my depressions, crises of faith, and sinful behavior I could not overcome.
All of it pushed me further and deeper in my search for God.
The purpose of my particular course
God revealed to me through a dream the purpose of this unusual course I was on. I often wondered why God's guidance seemed so different for me compared to many others.
In our faith community, I often could not participate in major events. Because of this, I often felt like an outsider, not truly belonging. I also frequently sensed that there was little room for the inner topics I wanted to speak about. Naturally, much of what I had to say was still in a process of formation and often lacked maturity.
Despite this tension, I felt I had to follow my path exactly this way.
I certainly contributed to this outsider role through my behavior. Yet my wife and I often wondered why God's guidance seemed to reinforce this role even more.
We felt a bit like Noah, building an ark on a mountain, while everyone around him thought he was crazy.
Then, God gave me a hint through a dream.
In this dream, I had a job interview with the head of a company. I was supposed to take on a task as a driver. But to my surprise, he required something else from me.
The true purpose of my employment was not merely to perform regular work. Rather, I was supposed to find out something: someone in the company was stealing, and the boss wanted me to discover who it was. The dream can be interpreted in various ways.
In a prayer, God gave me a small enlightenment to understand the message of this dream. My mission was different from that of the other employees who were operating the company productively.
I was meant to investigate and uncover something important to God.
And no one in the company was supposed to know about it.
Likewise, no one in our faith community was meant to recognize the true purpose of my work until it had been fully discovered and matured.
The goal of my path was, therefore, to research something in the background. God consciously led me to it because he wanted to reveal the inner path to me.
For this, I had to develop great humility.